Not So Kind
I closed a loan recently where the buyers were just plain ornery.
Nothing seemed to go right in their eyes. Every issue that came up during the process was immediately someone else’s fault—and someone else needed to pay for it.
During the inspection they discovered the roof needed replacing. The seller paid for it.
The HVAC system wasn’t performing like it should. Again, the seller paid.
Now, negotiating repairs when something major is discovered isn’t unusual. That happens in real estate all the time. But what stood out in this situation wasn’t the negotiation—it was the attitude behind it.
Every conversation came with confrontation.
There was no calm discussion. No patience. No willingness to work through the issue together. It was always blame first, demand second.
Even toward the end of the transaction, when the closing date shifted slightly, some of the costs changed. That happens in lending—daily interest adjusts when closing dates move. It’s simply part of doing business.
But when I explained the change, they initially expected me to pay the difference!
Not because of a mistake or because of anything I did wrong.
Simply because something had changed.
A Real Christian Businessman understands something important though – our response to problems says a lot about who we are.
Anyone can blame others. Anyone can raise their voice. Anyone can be harsh. That seems to be the default approach these days. But we’re called to react differently.
We can respond with patience. We can speak with kindness. We can approach problems with humility and empathy – instead of anger.
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Eph 4:31–32 (NLT)
Most of the time, the result ends up being the same either way. The problem gets solved.
But I’ve often seen something surprising: the kindness approach actually produces better outcomes than the rude one!
People want to help those who treat them well.
So this week, when a problem comes up (and it will!) let’s pay attention to our response.
We can react like the world does: blame, frustration, and harsh words. Or we can respond with patience and kindness. The problem will get solved either way.
But only one approach reflects that of a Real Christian Businessman.