March 31, 2012

The “Back Stab”

Ever had the “back stab” happen to you?  You know, when someone tells you one thing, then goes right behind your back, does something else, just so they won’t be the ones to blame?

This is one of the hardest things to deal with as you try to maintain your Real Christian BusinessMan character.

It happened to me recently, and I just wanted to go right over there and give this person a word or two straight from my heart in a very loud voice – or maybe even a punch in the head?!?!

I didn’t though.

My cool head prevailed.

But it wasn’t easy.

It wasn’t easy at all.

He KNEW how upset I was, he knew what he had done wrong, and could see the ferocity in my face and how this compromised my relationship with my customer because of his actions.  I would have actually been pretty ok with it all, if he would have just TAKEN RESPONSIBILITY for his actions.  But instead, he lied, acted like he didn’t know what the results of his actions would be, and even tried to push it off onto someone else as if it was their fault.

Bad situation all around.

Sound familiar?  It is all too common in the workplace.  The good ole “back stab”.   The most interesting part is that it happens just as much (or more) in a “Christian” organization versus a secular one (I can attest to this from personal experience).

Maintaining your Real Christian BusinessMan status in this situation is most difficult.  You have to really dig down into your integrity, into your inner being to rise above the pettiness of people that are not strong enough to ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY for their actions, and otherwise choose to lie and be deceptive, and place the blame on others.

What did I do? Well, I wasn’t the best I could have been. But I WAS very upset with this person and the situation they put me in with my customer.  I later realized after I cooled down a bit that I NEEDED TO TAKE THE HIGH ROAD.  Going off on him would NOT produce better results next time.  But talking to him about how this affected me and my customer in a very STERN BUT LOVING WAY COULD.  Letting them know that I realize they aren’t accepting responsibility, but I HAD TO WITH MY CUSTOMER got the point across that I will not tolerate this type of action from him in the future. My expectation of him was high, and I let him know just how high I had it set.

“Bless those that persecute you; bless and do not curse.” Romans 12:14

I didn’t want to take the high road.  I didn’t want to understand the other person, nor even think about blessing them when I was the one that was being mistreated and yelled at by my customer.

But I did (—this time!).

And you can too.

It’s all part of striving to “rise above”, part of BEING REAL, and part of what will set you apart from others in the workplace.


2 Comments on “The “Back Stab”

March 31, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Thank you for the words and encouragement to remind me to take the high road in these situations. I am quick to go off and put fault onto others — where it belongs.

April 1, 2012 at 8:31 pm

Wouldn’t it be fun just one time to body slam the person?! I checked Matthew, Mark, Luke and John and I didn’t read anything about Jesus body slamming anyone – even with the knuckle heads he had to deal with everyday:-)


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